whales, whales oh bloodletting whales

No one of importance reads this anymore, or perhaps my priorities are improperly organized. Regardless, I hereby conclude that it's safe ground to divulge myself and the likes of others with scattered insecurities, vulnerabilities, and other relatively normal human characteristics.

It's dawned on me that I'm probably considered the designated ugly friend. At first glance, sure, that's decidedly a bit humorous. Then you realize how dense it really is. I rarely gloat and actually truthfully support what I'm saying but goddammit I believe I've got a lot to offer. I'm more than skin and bones and I happily and inadvertently defy the boundaries of anatomy with intangible and sometimes incoherent yet surprisingly fruitful exchanges, be they considered eventful by a naked eye or not. I'm capable of vocal communication. I'm capable of the false enlightenment in which most half-wits seem to continually seek without question. I'm capable of humoring and heartwarming and hurting and other favored h words. People only seek what at first appeals to them. I'm surrounded by friends plagued with positive attention while I recieve the blunt end of the shaft because I'm simply not a looker.


I wish people would reflect on things sometimes. I'm not asking anyone to do anything excruciating. Hell, I'm not even asking anyone of anything because we all know how that fucking turns out. Just take some time to think and enjoy yourselves, or even to make yourselves fucking sick to your stomachs. Feelings and thoughts aren't bad, they're just whatever they are.

Though this is what we see, jaws ajar and lips coated in spittle, it's surely to be removed from this site.

Do not romanticize intimacy.

I want a wholesome person to occupy my time. I want someone who is capable of horrible things but is not afraid to admit them. I want someone who is lovely and awe-inspiring at first and once that freshness has worn away I still want there to be several opportunities to unveil what was previously undiscovered. I want someone who isn't sleeping and going with the motions. I want someone selfish enough to indulge in me. I want to be appreciated for what I fucking am. I want that to reflect upon my hopeful and potentially temporary mirror image.


I want to see God.
I want to see God.
I want to see God.
I want to see God.

Here's your chance to smite me. To turn a deaf ear. To be bashful or alarmed. To tuck your shit-stained tail between your shaky legs. I will knock you off of your motherfucking feet.